


The downfall of Bernie Wolfe

by TheProdigalSapphist



Category: Holby City
Genre: Angst, Break Up, F/F, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-22 22:10:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18536458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheProdigalSapphist/pseuds/TheProdigalSapphist
Summary: Bernie Wolfe returns to Holby City Hospital





	The downfall of Bernie Wolfe

**Author's Note:**

> Set after the break up.
> 
> I ugly cried when I wrote this. If you really want to break your own heart, read it whilst listening to [A Great Big World & Christina Aguilera - Say Something](https://youtu.be/-2U0Ivkn2Ds)

To be honest, Bernie was surprised it was a moped that caused her downfall. Cam is less surprised of course, especially after he had told her relentlessly how dangerous they were. But she didn't listen. The great Berenice Wolfe, world-renowned trauma surgeon, could handle a moped, (she thought). And it’s in the middle of rush hour Nairobi traffic where Bernie sees the error of her ways. Unfortunately, the lorry didn't see her.

She's left with a broken leg. The trauma unit (her trauma unit) fixes it up no problem but their rehab facilities aren't up and running yet so she flies back to the UK. Holby City hospital has the best rehab facilities she knows so that's how she finds herself back at the hospital. Plus it works well with seeing the kids. After all, Holby was her home long before it was Serena's. She still doesn't want to let anyone know she's back though.

In the end Serena finds out through the nurses, Scary Sue no doubt. Bernie is sat on her bed when Serena bursts into her room.

“What are you playing at Bernie? You nearly die in a car crash and you don’t even tell me?”

“Well technically it was a moped and a lorry...”

“You're in the same bloody hospital as me and you don't think to let me know?”

“I text you a few weeks ago.”

“About Jason! You didn't think to even text to say you'd had an accident? One so bad you get sent back to England for rehab!”

“Hello Serena. I broke my leg. I'm back. Temporarily.”

Serena picked up Bernie's chart and started looking through it.

“A comminuted fracture of the femur. Jesus Christ Bernie.”

“It's not as bad as it looks.”

“Really.” She gives Bernie ‘the look’ - that one-eyebrow-up-death-stare she usually reserves for F1s.

“It going to take a lot of physio to get you anywhere near as fit as you were.”

“I know, that’s why I’m here.”

Serena sighs, placing the chart back in its holder at the end of the bed.

“And you didn’t think to let me know?”

“Serena...we broke up.”

That changes the mood in the room rather suddenly. They’d been bickering like they always had when they were together until Bernie decided to well and truly shatter that illusion.

“Yes, but...I still care about you.”

“Really. How's Doctor Faulkner?”

Serena suddenly finds her shoes fascinating.

“She left.”

“Ah.”

Silence.

“Was she worth it?”

Serena reluctantly looks at Bernie again, like a dog with it’s tail between its legs.

“Bernie, it wasn’t like that. She didn’t mean anything to me.”

“You’re better than that. That’s the kind of thing you always told me Edward would tell you. But you, Serena Campbell who knows exactly how shitty it feels to be cheated on, cheated on the love of her life with someone practically half her age and it didn’t mean anything? You can see how that doesn’t make me feel any better.”

“I was lonely.”

“So was I, Serena.”

“You implied you’d been seeing other people too!”

“There wasn’t anyone else Serena. When I said ‘for eternity’ I meant it.”

More silence.

“Look Serena, this doesn’t change anything; you still want to stay here with your family and I still want to be in Nairobi.”

“And you think you’ll still be able to stand for hours on end in an operating theatre now? You must have seen your x-rays.”

“Funnily enough, I have and I’m very aware of my prognosis. I don’t need to operate to be useful. Until I’m fit enough they’ll be happy enough with me teaching and running the unit.”

“And you’d be happy with that?”

“I’ve broken things before and still come back fighting.”

“Yes. You break things and somehow still keep on running. Bernie Wolfe never gives up does she?”

That one hurt. They might be broken up but they still knew how to get under each other's skin. Unsure of how to respond, Bernie began smoothing out her bed sheets.

Serena carefully sat on Bernie’s bed, cautious to avoid her injured leg.

“I’m sorry.” She sighs, on the brink of tears. “I...miss you Bernie. I thought it would all just stop when we broke up but I think about you all the time.”

Bernie reaches out and places her hand over Serena’s. How odd it is to be so physically close to someone you know by heart, only to not know them any more.

“I love you Serena, but we’re in different places. Quite literally at times. You suddenly had this whole sapphic world opened up to you and haven’t really had the opportunity or time to explore it. But me, I’ve always known who I was, who I am, even if I tried to hide it. But once my leg is a bit stronger I’m going back to Nairobi - there’s nothing for me here anymore.”

“You don’t want…”

“To give it another go? Serena, we both know, deep down, that this doesn’t work. No matter how much we want it to. Maybe in a perfect world where Elinor lived and we were on the same continent for more than just a few precious weeks, maybe the stars would have aligned and we’d have worked out, who knows.”

Now the tears begin to fall for Serena, as she realises that last little flicker of hope has been extinguished. They both know Bernie is right. Their whole relationship was a series of ‘what ifs’ and ‘if onlys’, built on a foundation of sand with these small moments of joy that made it all worthwhile. They never really got the chance to just be them before they were fighting the next fire, another situation that somehow attacked their relationship. This beautifully woven tapestry of their lives was now covered in bullet holes and burns.

“It’s time to let go Serena. It’s time to move on.”

And with that, Serena touches Bernie’s face; looking into Bernie’s eyes and drinking her in one final time, before standing and leaving the room.

In years to come, Bernie would look back at this moment as one of the hardest of her life - saying goodbye to the woman she thought she’d marry and grow old with, still haunted by the ‘what ifs’ and ‘if onlys’. They would both love again, eventually, but they would always feel the scar they’d left on each other.

**Author's Note:**

> I needed to say goodbye to these two. I love them - these characters have changed my life for the better - but for my own mental health I needed to say goodbye.
> 
> I had never written any fic before I started writing Berena. Because of them I've been exposed to this rich world filled with bloody talented writers. I know I'll write fic again, and who knows maybe I'll write some more Berena. 
> 
> I just want to say a huge thank you for reading, supporting me and sharing your work with me.


End file.
